Derailed?

Also-- what if I learn to take vacation without forgetting how to feed myself? Although I'm thrilled to have walked away from my Thanksgiving trip a few pounds lighter, I didn't feel healthy and that I was taking care of myself well.

Back on track today. Went to the grocery store last night and am all loaded up with the fixings for this week's meals. I'm experimenting a bit with the dairy question-- I have an instinct that I may eat better with it's inclusion (maybe because of the fat or protein question? I have no idea.) so I'll give it a try.

An update from yesterday:

Breakfast: coffee with coconut hazelnut creamer and stevia, oatmeal with peanut butter and maple syrup

Lunch: Whole Foods prepared foods-- sweet chili tofu, autumn couscous (includes squash, cranberries, sage, etc), salad with cranberries, candied walnuts, red onion and feta cheese; fresh carrots

Snack: kiwi; two chocolate truffles; orange

Dinner: roasted asparagus; rosemary-thyme fingerling potatoes with balsamic vinegar and parmesan; poached egg

Breakfast: coffee with coconut hazelnut creamer and stevia, oatmeal with peanut butter and maple syrup, apple, banana

Snack: low-fat vanilla yogurt, frozen fruit

I think this blog is a work in process, almost always. I keep hoping and waiting to discovery or define the perfect pattern of posting sot hat it fits with my life and still gets the *right* content here. I'm beginning to wonder what value that formula might add, though. Maybe I'll just keep throwing things up here. If folks want to read, great-- and if not, at least I'll have a good chronicle for myself.

What if.....

-- What if I focused intently on being very aware of what I put into my body?
-- What if I let go of restrictions and denials, but instead choose abundance and celebration in every meal?
-- What if I post that appreciation here, so that I can remind myself to be thankful and aware?
-- What if I start today?

Breakfast: a glorious cup of coffee with coconut milk based creamer in hazelnut and stevia; oatmeal with pumpkin, dried cranberries, raisins and spices.

Snack: a decaf soy caramel brulee latte from Sbux; half a red bell pepper; a carrot; half an english cucumber

Lunch: brown rice, caramelized onions and lentils; half an acorn squash, roasted; half an avocado, lightly salted; leftover Thai veggies in coconut milk sauce from Annapurna's; huge salad with Amy's Sesame Shitake dressing; an apple

Snack: a banana; one chocolate chunk cookie

Dinner: white bean cassoulet; roasted cauliflower; green salad; bread; two and a half glasses wine

Dessert: cherry cobbler with Dreyer's Slow Churned Vanilla ice cream

Fresh peaches galore

My roommate's grandfather owns a peach tree. For a month we have been inundated with stone fruit. Don't get me wrong, this is a good problem to have! One of my greatest pleasures in life is eating a fresh peach over the sink, its juices running down my arm. But eventually we had fresh peaches galore-- and I felt the need to do something other than inhale the peaches on their own.

My roommate has been making cobbler, crisp, oatmeal and ice cream-- all to top the peaches. Wanting to provide another option, I introduced the clafoutis.

Clafoutis are incredible-- light and airy, creamy and silky, dotted with fruit and dripping with juice. And so easy to make! Please give this recipe a try; clafoutis is now my go-to dessert, and a fabulous way to use up any extra fruit that may be laying around. Enjoy!

Peach Clafoutis
adapted from Sweet Amandine

4 to 5 fresh peaches (peeled and sliced)
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
3/4 tsp molasses
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1 tsp almond extract (or 2 tsp Amaretto, if you have it in the house. Speaking of which, why don't I have any in the house?)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

-- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray a baking dish with cooking spray; lightly coat with sugar. Arrange peach slices to cover; if you have too many peaches, make two layers.
-- Whisk together the eggs, sugar, molasses, flour and salt. When combined, add milk and extracts. Continue whisking until smooth and creamy.
-- Pour batter over peaches.
-- Bake for 55 to 75 minutes. (I bake mine for 55 minutes, then check every 5 minutes until set. You can tell it is finished when a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean and the center still wiggles a bit.)
-- Clafoutis is best served warm. Some people dust it with powdered sugar, or top it with cream (whipped, iced or otherwise), but I prefer it unadorned.

Enjoy! :)

No fuss....

I have a hard time understanding elaborate, extensive preparations for certain foods. No fancy technique could possibly taste better than thin asparagus roasted with caramelized bits of minced garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper. More, please.

Satisfying

Basic vegan cooking can be enormously satisfying. Especially as summer progresses, I find that I am craving dishes that highlight the clean, unadorned taste of fresh ingredients. Herbavoracious has a great method post for creating wonderful vegetarian meals. Using this guideline, I created tonight's dinner as a means of using some produce before it went bad.

Cook 1/2 cup barley in 2 cups of water; salt well.
Dry-fry 1/4 block of firm tofu; cut into cubes
Stir-fry 1/2 a red onion, 2 zucchini, and 1 yellow squash. Season with salt, pepper and smoked paprika.

Place barley in serving bowl; top with veggie mixture; layer tofu cubes and splash with mirin. (Not too much, but enough to moisten the tofu a bit.) Add avocado cubes, and devour.

Dinner party redux

I attended a lovely dinner party on Saturday evening, and the hostess made a special effort to make a vegetarian casserole for those of us who could not eat her roast chicken. It was wonderful: barely, pinto beans and polenta-- mmm. :) I had volunteered to bring a vegetarian dish, too, and settled on Indian. I HIGHLY recommend this watermelon curry recipe. I know it sounds like a strange flavor combination, but it was a huge hit at the party. I'm putting it into the regular rotation. But the star was the chana masala; the leftovers went home with a friend, and she said they were even better the next day. I wasn't quite happy with the flavors the first time around, but I think I found the answer in tonight's version. The cinnamon is in no way traditional to this dish, but I find it takes the edge off the tomato acidity and adds a wonderful warmth to the sauce.

Chana Masala (adapted from Orangette)

olive oil
1 large onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp cumin seeds
3/4 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp garam masala
3 green cardamom pods, crushed lightly with the blade of a large knife (open slightly, but do not crush so much that the seeds escape)
1/4 cup water
1 28-ounce can peeled, crushed tomatoes
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper, plus a bit more to taste
2 15-ounce cans organic chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 tsp cinnamon
juice of one half lime

Coat the bottom of a large skillet with olive oil; heat over medium heat. Add onion and sautee-- stirring frequently-- until browning and caramelized. This generally takes about 25 to 30 minutes on my stove top; most importantly, please do not rush the process. The slower the color builds, the better. Once onions have deepened (even begun to char in some places?), add garlic and cook until the flavors bloom-- usually a minute or so, stirring constantly.

Reduce heat to low and add spices: cumin seeds, coriander, ginger, garam masala and cardamom pods. Stir well, and cook until fragrant (30 to 90 seconds, depending on your heat). Deglaze pan by adding 1/4 cup of water, and scraping all the browned flavorful bits from the bottom of the pan. Let cook until water has dissolved and the spice onion slurry is all that remains.

Add tomatoes, breaking them up into pieces with your hands. Salt and stir well. Raise heat back to medium; bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for about 5 minutes. Add cinnamon and lime juice; simmer until sauce begins to thicken a bit. Reduce heat to low, add chickpeas and stir well.

Add 2 tablespoons water to the dish, and allow to simmer for another 5 minutes. Add 2 more tablespoons water, and simmer 5 minutes. This repeated process keeps the chickpeas plump and deepens the flavors of the sauce. Check for seasoning, and serve over rice/quinoa/any other grain-- or be adventurous and serve alongside roasted potatoes with garlic as I did this evening. It was still phenomenal, if not traditional. Squeeze additional limes over at table, if desired.

Small Army

I love being part of big family. I grew up as one child in five, and moving to New Mexico has only made my family bigger. I cooked dinner at Grandma's house tonight-- there were 11 of us, total. That's a lot of people to feed; and a lot of relatively picky palates. Luckily, pasta is almost universally appealing, so long as I keep the sauce/toppings simple. I reverted to a non-vegan meal.... it's all a process. :)

Caprese Pasta for Eleven

1 1/2 lbs pasta (I used orecchiette, but any small pasta will do)
extra virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 pints cherry tomatoes
2 pints yellow pear tomatoes
1/3 cup dry white wine (I used Sauvignon blanc-- just be careful your wine is not too rich or oaked here)
16 ounces fresh mozzarella, cut into bite size pieces
2 ounces basil, torn into pieces

Boil pasta per package directions. Please do not forget to salt the water before adding pasta-- this is the only chance you will have to season the pasta itself.

While pasta cooks, heavily coat bottom of a large skillet with olive oil. (I probably used 1/4 cup of olive oil here.) Heat over medium heat; add minced garlic and sautee until fragrant (but not browned). Add all cherry tomatoes, coat well in olive oil and garlic. If needed, add more olive oil to coat well. Season well with salt and fresh cracked pepper. Cover skillet and let cook, stirring occasionally. When the tomatoes are beginning to burst open, add wine and let cook uncovered for a few minutes. You want the concentrated flavor of the wine, but not too much extra liquid.

Drain pasta, but reserve one cup of starchy cooking water-- set aside. Add pasta to skillet with tomatoes; remove from heat. Add mozzarella pieces and basil-- toss well to combine. If pasta is dry, add some of the starchy cooking water and taste again for seasoning.

Serve with a green salad and garlic bread. (Make the salad a little bigger than you think you might need-- especially if you're feeding a small army, as I was.) Enjoy!

Something like this

A funny thing happens after a few weeks of being vegan-- it stops being much of an issue, most of the time. I've been avoiding this space for a lot of reasons, but chief among them is that I don't feel like the story can continue in the same vein any more. For instance-- I'm trying to remember what I ate today. I think it looked something like this:

Breakfast: green tea with stevia; oatmeal with applesauce
Lunch: (Fabulous meal at Gold Street Cafe)-- gazpacho; green salad with chili lime vinegarette; sourdough bread; coconut rice with black beans and caramelized red onions; coconut lime Italian soda
Snack: 2 kiwi; soy yogurt; coconut water
Dinner: casserole of brown rice, sauteed mushrooms, steamed broccoli, faux chicken, mango salsa and pepper jack flavored almond cheese; chopped green salad; Marble Wildflower Wheat; dark chocolate with cherries
Snack: chocolate soy milk; whole fruit popsicle; apple

Unexpectedly, I am not greatly missing dairy products. It is harder to eat out, though. This afternoon, I thought I had done very well when I ordered lunch. I specifically asked whether the soup had dairy in it-- even though gazpacho would usually not include dairy, I thought it best to be safe. I must have said "No dairy" to the waiter about 15 times in ordering this meal. And he brings out these beautiful plates of food, places them and walks away-- and I realize that they've topped my salad with shaved cheese. :( I felt badly sending it back, but I honestly ordered correctly this time!

That was the second time this week I've asked for something to be remade because it has come out with dairy in it. I hate being that girl-- and that could actually end up being good for me. I'm finding that I have less and less of a desire to eat out. I can do it, when I need to or if friends are getting together, etc. But I find that I'm spending less time at restaurants by myself these days. Now if only I could siphon that money into my savings account.....

Back in the game

I have not had a good exercising week. Somehow-- in the middle of yoga last Saturday-- I threw out something in my lower back. By the end of the class, I was in such visible pain that the instructor told me to lie down with my knees raised and to not move for about half an hour.

I had a fabulous massage that afternoon, and helped relieve the pain in my back greatly. It also left me very, very sore-- on Sunday I had muscle aches in places I wasn't sure I had muscles. I took it easy on my body for most of the week, partly because I was sore, and partly because I was afraid of hurting my back again.

This morning a student group I sit on the board of walked in the American Cancer Society's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. It was a nice, leisurely 5 miles-- and I held up pretty well. I started to feel a twinge in my hip toward the end of the walk, but it's gone away as the day progressed. I'm glad to have done it, and am feeling pretty confident about getting back in the game, so to speak. Tomorrow, yoga in the morning, work, then class at night. I have lunch and dinner already packed (my sister made a yummy stir-fry tonight, so I'll take leftovers of that and some of the minestrone soup I made this evening to get me through the week).

Breakfast: soy yogurt; cranberry vegan muffin; tangerine
Snack: apple
Lunch: very dissatisfying grilled veggie sandwich from a local cafe; fruit cup; mango iced tea
Dinner: veggie stir-fry with sprouted tofu over brown rice; two Marble Wildflower Wheat beers; smoothie with black cherries, peaches and spinach; grapefruit

I like the idea

I promised to come clean about the cleanse, so here I am.

I love the idea of cleanses, in theory. I like the idea of detoxing, and of helping my body to reset itself in some way. But I'm aware how very unhealthy most cleanses are. That one reason I was so taken by the raw fruit and vegetable cleanse suggested by The Vegan Next Door. I could still nourish my body, but it was an opportunity to get rid of the extraneous stuff for a day.

Here's what I ate:

Strawberries
A champagne mango
green tea
HUGE fruit smoothie with blackberries, blueberries, raspberries, and spinach
Yellow bell pepper
Red bell pepper
Green bell pepper
2 carrots
pineapple
avocado

In honest truth, I felt great-- my energy levels were strong all day, I wasn't even hungry really. I did have some serious acid-y reactions, though. By the time I left work for the day, I was having some serious heartburn-- and I was worried about teaching a 2 1/2 hour presentation in class. But I didn't realize that until after I'd left work, and I didn't have anything more substantial than more produce in the car. I started worrying about it, and I panicked-- I ate the first thing I came across, which unfortunately was an un-vegan cream cheese frosted cupcake. :(

I also ate some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and after class went out for vegetarian tortilla soup with a green salad (and a yummy caipirinha). I needed food, and I felt much better after I had it. So-- cleanses of any sort are probably not for me. I'll just have to work on cutting out the sugar, white flour and un-nutritional foods while focusing on eating whole grains and whole produce. I can do that-- so long as there are no cupcakes involved. ;)

It could be

Where has this week gone? I don't have time to come up for air, really-- but I wanted to drop by here with a few food updates.

Tomorrow, I am going to do a fruit and vegetable "cleanse," as recommended by Sarah Taylor of The Vegan Next Door. Basically, the idea is to eat as much as you care to of fresh, raw fruits and vegetables-- and nothing else-- for 24 hours. So please keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow. It could be very good for me.

Today, I had a great eating out experience, and a catered not-so-great experience. More about those soon, I hope. (And by soon I mean: after the final presentation I'm giving for a class tomorrow night.) For today:

Breakfast: Kashi's Autumn Wheat cereal with almond milk; coffee with stevia and almond milk; banana; 15 whole raw almonds
Snack: soy yogurt; fruit leather strip
Lunch: whole wheat roll stuffed with roasted veggies and spicy mustard; bag of potato chips; lemonade sweetened with agave; tangerine; clementine
Snack: single serving bag Healthy Pop Kettle Corn; half tomato and avocado sandwich; strawberries
Dinner: green smoothie (bag frozen tropical fruit blended with huge handful spinach); two pieces leftover Farina pizza with avocado

Wish us luck tomorrow evening, friends. This presentation is the last of our grades for this course-- one step closer to my MBA.

Thank goodness

Happiest discovery ever: fresh organic artichokes taste fabulous when steamed in the microwave at work and dipped in spicy brown mustard cut with lemon juice. Thank goodness for my CSA boxes-- I would have missed on this discovery if the artichokes weren't in my fridge this morning.

Breakfast: Kashi Autumn Harvest cereal with almond milk; banana; soy yogurt; coffee with stevia and almond milk
Lunch: scrambled tofu with mushrooms, kale, carrots, red onions and avocado; steamed artichokes with above-mentioned sauce; strawberries
Snack: two fruit leather strips
Dinner: green salad with walnuts, fava beans and red wine dressing; pizza with many types of mushrooms, artichokes, caramelized onions and truffle oil; grapefruit
Snack: strawberry balsamic and prickly pear sorbettos

(Dinner and snack from Farina Pizza, which I LOVE but cannot afford very often. Thank goodness I have leftover salad and pizza to take to work tomorrow.) <-- I was somewhat worried that the pizza wouldn't be good without the cheese, but I actually found that I could taste all of the other flavors even more without its masking effect.

:) Happy Monday-is-over-celebration, friends.

Reference point

I read this during my lunch break today. I'm posting it here, because I think it will be important for me to have as a reference point. Each time I find myself craving ice cream, I will reread these words: "Dairy products are a health hazard. They contain no fiber or complex carbohydrates and are laden with saturated fat and cholesterol. They are contaminated with cow's blood and pus and are frequently contaminated with pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics. Dairy products are linked to allergies, constipation, obesity, heart disease, cancer, and other diseases.

The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it can cause anemia, allergies, and insulin-dependent diabetes and in the long-term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease, America's number one cause of death.

And dairy products may actually cause osteoporosis, not prevent it, since their high-protein content leaches calcium from the body. Population studies, backed up by a groundbreaking Harvard study of more than 75,000 nurses, suggest that drinking milk can actually cause osteoporosis," (taken from www.milksucks.com).

In all of my back and forth regarding fish, I've failed to mention (or really much notice) that I have been off eggs and dairy for more than a full week. It wasn't even that bad, really. I ate soy yogurts each day for several days straight, but am reconsidering them now. I like them and all, but the processed yogurts are sure to have an enormous amount of sugar in them, right? I will have to do some serious label reading when I get to the grocery store this weekend.

Food update for the day
Breakfast: English muffin with vegan margarine and cherry preserves; banana; coffee with stevia and almond milk
Lunch: vegan pad thai with red peppers; 4 ounces Thai baked tofu; grapefruit
Snack: cucumbers and kalamata olive hummus; apple; fruit leather
Dinner: "Dirty Diapers," made by my sister-- white rice, vegetarian chili and corn; Shiraz; two clementines
Snack: strawberries; Silk chocolate soy milk; whole fruit bar popsicle; herbal tea

I missed getting to the gym tonight because of horrible traffic on the way home. I hardly felt right about postponing dinner when Krystin had already worked so hard to have it ready-- and since we originally had appointments scheduled for 7:00 PM: no gym. Am considering going now, though-- there isn't really a valid reason I can't spend 30 minutes walking on the treadmill, even after having a glass of wine two hours ago. :)

Caved

I've been avoiding this space; avoiding myself, really.

It was a total of two and a half days before I caved-- I had committed to eating only vegan foods for a month, but I ate crab, shrimp and shellfish one night because I didn't want to feel deprived. The next day, I had sushi-- mostly because I was busy justifying the seafood from the night before to myself. I don't regret those choices, but I am trying to learn from them.

Long-term, I believe that the only way for me to reconcile my health and my food choices involves being moderate in many things-- likely eggs, cheese, ice cream, and fish. But for now, I'm not in that space. I haven't been able to conquer those cravings yet, so am trying to do so by giving them up for a month. After that month, I'll check in with myself and see where I stand. But for now, I am giving it 31 complete and full days. No more excuses, rationalizations or changes of mind. It's only 31 days.

Thanks for hanging in with me; I hope you'll stick around.

Do I eat it, or not?

Okay-- very little time tonight. So there's a food update, and a conundrum. Your input is needed, and appreciated. :)

Breakfast: Amy's Tofu Scramble with Hash Browns and Roasted Veggies; banana; coffee with almond milk and stevia; soy yogurt
Snack: soy joy bar
Lunch: chickpeas with barley (uncooked Sriracha made this so much better than last night's); red and yellow bell peppers; 2 clementines; piece dark chocolate with cherries
Dinner: huge salad with black beans, corn, avocado, cucumber and mango/peach salsa; 2 kiwi; strawberries

Yoga was tougher this morning, but I got there. I expect that Wednesday should be easier. Stay tuned.

Okay, here's the conundrum. When I got home tonight, everyone else was asleep already; through a note, I learned that my uncle is cooking dinner for us all tomorrow evening. From past experience, I know that he will have put a lot of effort into designing a menu that I can eat. The problem is-- I am only aware now that he has his whole menu planned out, and my uncle is operating from the old rules of how I eat. So he's hoping and planning for me to enjoy this crab boil tomorrow evening. Do I eat it, or not?

Trying to steel myself

I woke up very hungry this morning, which was a little bit of a problem because my day started with yoga-- and I can't eat for 2-3 hours before yoga. Translation: hungry Jessica, and 11:15 AM breakfast.

Other than the hunger, class was pretty good. I struggled a little bit, but only in the way I usually struggle with Bikram's. It is a constant effort for me to remember that I cannot ever be perfect at this practice; I am learning to let it be enough that I am there, and working to get better. The hardest part is that the 1 1/2 hour classes fit into my life at 6:00 AM on weekdays. Will someone please call me at 5:15 tomorrow morning and make sure I'm awake?!

Yoga combined with two days of veganism = HUGE headache all day today. My body is detoxing, thanks to the sweat of the yoga and the change in my diet. I'm hoping it goes away quickly, but I am trying to steel myself for a few more days of feeling gross (and possibly worse). Also, I refuse to modify my routine for detoxing; I should probably slow down and take it a little bit easier on myself.

Okay, food update:

Breakfast: english muffin with vegan margarine; blackberries; soy yogurt
Lunch: Un-BLT (whole wheat toast, tempeh fake-bacon, lettuce, tomato, vegan mayonnaise, avocado); red and yellow pepper strips; pineapple
Dinner: barley; chickpeas (cooked with cumin, smoked paprika, garlic and onion); garlic toast with margarine; green salad; strawberries; small piece dark chocolate with cherries; Pinot Noir
Snack: grapefruit; Whole Fruit bar; herbal tea

One funny note today: I bought a lot of bulk items at the grocery store last weekend. I've gotten pretty good about writing down the correct numbers so that the cashier can ring it up-- today's lesson, though, was that I should write down exactly what is in the bag, as well. Have you ever tried to distinguish between a bag a steel cut oats and a bag of barley? I'll admit, I spent more than five minutes trying to do just that tonight. :)

Sweet dreams, friends. Wish me luck, and let's hope tomorrow involves all of the following:

Yoga before work
Productivity at work
Finishing all of my homework during my lunch break
Class getting out early (I can hope, right?)

Having the option (and a confession)

I could easily get used to having weekends off. It's only been a few weeks, but I am already finding myself loath to make plans unless absolutely necessary. Today I slept in, then ate breakfast and made lunch to take with me. It wasn't that much work, but I took a lot of food with me-- I was worried about being out of the house and not having something safe with me in case I got hungry. It was needless, as I wasn't hungry. But still, I felt better having the option and not needing it than if I'd needed the food and not had it. This afternoon was the gym, then watching my sister and cousins make dinner. That last part was probably the highlight of my day. I've felt pretty good today; not deprived, and not craving anything in particular. I think the preparation is key to that, and as such Monday and Thursday will be my hardest days. I'll have to leave the house at 7:30 AM with all of my food for the day, because I don't come home until 10:00 PM. Keep your fingers crossed, please!

It's helpful to write down what I'm eating-- even more accountability, I think. Feel free to skip these updates, if they bore you. (But please keep reading; I need to know you're out there!)

Breakfast: whole wheat english muffin with vegan margarine and cherry preserves; banana; soy latte (with one pump mocha and three pumps dark cherry syrup)
Lunch: huge green salad topped with black beans, corn, cucumber and peach/mango salsa; handful Lays Waves potato chips; diet soda
Snack: soy yogurt; fruit leather strip; two clementines
Dinner: vegetarian fried rice; sauteed mushrooms; three vegetarian shu mai; sliced red and yellow bell peppers; kiwi; watermelon; Fat Tire and Abbey Ale
Snack: Healthy Pop Kettle Popcorn; strawberries; herbal tea

Confession: I sort of unintentionally cheated at dinner tonight. I had already put the shu mai in the microwave before realizing that there are egg whites in them. They were listed about 12th on the ingredient list, so I imagine there was only a small amount of egg whites in the three pieces that I ate-- but I felt it would be wasteful not to eat any of them.

I donated 74 pounds of food to the Foodbank this afternoon. In a way, that was validating in itself; after seeing how much food that was, I feel great about the 50 pounds of food that will be donated to them as I lose the weight. I also decided to go back and volunteer next weekend. It'll be mostly warehouse work, but I think it will help motivate me to be involved in the work they do.

On an opposing note, I weighed myself this morning. The number on the scale was ENORMOUSLY disappointing. While I am still vain enough that I'm not willing to post that number publicly, let's just say that 50 pounds is a low estimate for the weight I have to lose. :(

But, I will get there. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

More good news: I walked 11.11 miles this week. Tomorrow, back to yoga.

Unofficial first day

I just spent $226 at the grocery store-- but am now well-stocked on vegan condiments, nutritional yeast, various vitamins, plenty of whole grains and assorted snacks to take to school/work.

Today was an unofficial first day of sorts-- eating today was pretty great, especially since I hadn't planned on being intentionally vegan when I left the house this morning.

Breakfast: oatmeal with applesauce; coffee with almond milk and stevia; lemon-flavored yogurt; banana
Lunch: Kashi's Black Bean Mango meal; green salad with raspberry vinaigrette; sliced red and yellow peppers; grapefruit
Dinner: curried cauliflower and chickpeas; roasted parsnips, carrots, green beans and mushrooms; sauteed zucchini and mushrooms; Shiraz
Snack: Whole Fruit popsicle; blackberries; herbal tea

I feel as though I should eat something more; it seems unlikely that's actually enough calories for my body, but I'm not hungry. I'm sort of waiting for the cravings to hit-- I bought a lot more processed food today than I usually do, but I'm trying to take it easy on myself this first week or so. I guess we'll see.

Here we go, again.

I've made sweeping, huge changes in my life over the past few years-- I live 2,500 miles away from home, am now immersed in business school, and only work 40 hours per week for the first time in a VERY long while. Hopefully, I'm growing; certainly I am changing. But though I strongly believe growth comes firstly from acknowledging where we come from-- I have been convincing myself all day long to not go back and delete all of the 2007 postings on this blog.

So, intentionally quashing the urge-- what brings me back here? I need a place to be accountable; hopefully one or two of you will be out there, depending on me to live up to my goals. This morning, I committed to losing 50 pounds in the Pound for Pound Challenge. That's a big number, friends. I cannot remember the last time I intentionally lifted 50 pounds-- but that (and arguably more!) is the extra weight my body slogs around every day through my incredibly busy life. My feet (and joints, bones, etc) were not designed for that kind of abuse. And, admittedly, I LOVE the concept of the Challenge. I am counting on the RoadRunner Food Bank and the hungry folks they feed to provide my motivation through some of the difficult times.

I am not a dieter. Oh, I have tried to be-- many times, unfortunately. But I have learned the hard way: 1) I love food, 2) I do not deprive myself well-- I am learning to say no to myself, but I have a long way to go before I'm good at this task and 3) the majority of our "diets" are not healthy at all. Personally, I function much better when I'm able to come from a place of abundance-- pushing myself out of my comfort zone and exploring new flavors, tastes, and whole new foods. I love the playful, fun experience that comes from intentionally spending time in the kitchen. But like most people, I get busy, I have lazy days-- and I fall back on the old staples of my American diet: eggs, cheese, ice cream (my Achilles' heel!). Easy foods, yes; and dreadfully addicting. I love them dearly, and could never self-deny these things for eternity. At least I don't think I could.

Recently, though, I have been reading a lot about the health benefits (and weight loss!) of the vegan diet. I can't make the shift forever...yet. I can commit to a one-month challenge, though. So yes, I am off the dairy (eggs, ice cream, yogurt, cheese) for one full month, starting tomorrow. From what others say, the first week is likely to be awful. Please send good thoughts-- I am not often one to back down from a challenge, but it might be hairy for a while. Stay in touch, if you're out there-- I will need the support, I think.

Unintentionally, the last dairy I ate was a bland lemony yogurt with this morning's breakfast. Now, it feels like a wasted opportunity! Tonight (after the gym): grocery shopping and cleaning out the temptations in my kitchen. :)