Reference point

I read this during my lunch break today. I'm posting it here, because I think it will be important for me to have as a reference point. Each time I find myself craving ice cream, I will reread these words: "Dairy products are a health hazard. They contain no fiber or complex carbohydrates and are laden with saturated fat and cholesterol. They are contaminated with cow's blood and pus and are frequently contaminated with pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics. Dairy products are linked to allergies, constipation, obesity, heart disease, cancer, and other diseases.

The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it can cause anemia, allergies, and insulin-dependent diabetes and in the long-term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease, America's number one cause of death.

And dairy products may actually cause osteoporosis, not prevent it, since their high-protein content leaches calcium from the body. Population studies, backed up by a groundbreaking Harvard study of more than 75,000 nurses, suggest that drinking milk can actually cause osteoporosis," (taken from www.milksucks.com).

In all of my back and forth regarding fish, I've failed to mention (or really much notice) that I have been off eggs and dairy for more than a full week. It wasn't even that bad, really. I ate soy yogurts each day for several days straight, but am reconsidering them now. I like them and all, but the processed yogurts are sure to have an enormous amount of sugar in them, right? I will have to do some serious label reading when I get to the grocery store this weekend.

Food update for the day
Breakfast: English muffin with vegan margarine and cherry preserves; banana; coffee with stevia and almond milk
Lunch: vegan pad thai with red peppers; 4 ounces Thai baked tofu; grapefruit
Snack: cucumbers and kalamata olive hummus; apple; fruit leather
Dinner: "Dirty Diapers," made by my sister-- white rice, vegetarian chili and corn; Shiraz; two clementines
Snack: strawberries; Silk chocolate soy milk; whole fruit bar popsicle; herbal tea

I missed getting to the gym tonight because of horrible traffic on the way home. I hardly felt right about postponing dinner when Krystin had already worked so hard to have it ready-- and since we originally had appointments scheduled for 7:00 PM: no gym. Am considering going now, though-- there isn't really a valid reason I can't spend 30 minutes walking on the treadmill, even after having a glass of wine two hours ago. :)

Caved

I've been avoiding this space; avoiding myself, really.

It was a total of two and a half days before I caved-- I had committed to eating only vegan foods for a month, but I ate crab, shrimp and shellfish one night because I didn't want to feel deprived. The next day, I had sushi-- mostly because I was busy justifying the seafood from the night before to myself. I don't regret those choices, but I am trying to learn from them.

Long-term, I believe that the only way for me to reconcile my health and my food choices involves being moderate in many things-- likely eggs, cheese, ice cream, and fish. But for now, I'm not in that space. I haven't been able to conquer those cravings yet, so am trying to do so by giving them up for a month. After that month, I'll check in with myself and see where I stand. But for now, I am giving it 31 complete and full days. No more excuses, rationalizations or changes of mind. It's only 31 days.

Thanks for hanging in with me; I hope you'll stick around.

Do I eat it, or not?

Okay-- very little time tonight. So there's a food update, and a conundrum. Your input is needed, and appreciated. :)

Breakfast: Amy's Tofu Scramble with Hash Browns and Roasted Veggies; banana; coffee with almond milk and stevia; soy yogurt
Snack: soy joy bar
Lunch: chickpeas with barley (uncooked Sriracha made this so much better than last night's); red and yellow bell peppers; 2 clementines; piece dark chocolate with cherries
Dinner: huge salad with black beans, corn, avocado, cucumber and mango/peach salsa; 2 kiwi; strawberries

Yoga was tougher this morning, but I got there. I expect that Wednesday should be easier. Stay tuned.

Okay, here's the conundrum. When I got home tonight, everyone else was asleep already; through a note, I learned that my uncle is cooking dinner for us all tomorrow evening. From past experience, I know that he will have put a lot of effort into designing a menu that I can eat. The problem is-- I am only aware now that he has his whole menu planned out, and my uncle is operating from the old rules of how I eat. So he's hoping and planning for me to enjoy this crab boil tomorrow evening. Do I eat it, or not?

Trying to steel myself

I woke up very hungry this morning, which was a little bit of a problem because my day started with yoga-- and I can't eat for 2-3 hours before yoga. Translation: hungry Jessica, and 11:15 AM breakfast.

Other than the hunger, class was pretty good. I struggled a little bit, but only in the way I usually struggle with Bikram's. It is a constant effort for me to remember that I cannot ever be perfect at this practice; I am learning to let it be enough that I am there, and working to get better. The hardest part is that the 1 1/2 hour classes fit into my life at 6:00 AM on weekdays. Will someone please call me at 5:15 tomorrow morning and make sure I'm awake?!

Yoga combined with two days of veganism = HUGE headache all day today. My body is detoxing, thanks to the sweat of the yoga and the change in my diet. I'm hoping it goes away quickly, but I am trying to steel myself for a few more days of feeling gross (and possibly worse). Also, I refuse to modify my routine for detoxing; I should probably slow down and take it a little bit easier on myself.

Okay, food update:

Breakfast: english muffin with vegan margarine; blackberries; soy yogurt
Lunch: Un-BLT (whole wheat toast, tempeh fake-bacon, lettuce, tomato, vegan mayonnaise, avocado); red and yellow pepper strips; pineapple
Dinner: barley; chickpeas (cooked with cumin, smoked paprika, garlic and onion); garlic toast with margarine; green salad; strawberries; small piece dark chocolate with cherries; Pinot Noir
Snack: grapefruit; Whole Fruit bar; herbal tea

One funny note today: I bought a lot of bulk items at the grocery store last weekend. I've gotten pretty good about writing down the correct numbers so that the cashier can ring it up-- today's lesson, though, was that I should write down exactly what is in the bag, as well. Have you ever tried to distinguish between a bag a steel cut oats and a bag of barley? I'll admit, I spent more than five minutes trying to do just that tonight. :)

Sweet dreams, friends. Wish me luck, and let's hope tomorrow involves all of the following:

Yoga before work
Productivity at work
Finishing all of my homework during my lunch break
Class getting out early (I can hope, right?)